Graduation Nite.

It was fun.
Everyone was having fun at the mass dance section~ Is so disco like.
Well, I didn’t join in, I sat at the table or chatting with some other friends.
Took the last train of the day back home, and the last bus I can find to reach my home.
12.30am?
I slept around 1.30am this morning.

Random question that I always had in mind.

1. When there is an organized event, will I be invited?

2. When there is things to share, do I get to share?

3. When there is an outing, will I be ask to go?

Why do I always feel left out?  It feels like it is hard to be sociable and communicate with people. Just feel insecure and nobody to rely on. Even people who were once close to me seems so far away from me. I’m losing the confidence again…
Who did this to me?
Who cause this traumatic situation on me?
Who?!

In my life, (If I really count) exactly 10 people had “praised” me being independent. Example, being alone in a corner doing something without complaining. Being alone during recess without any company. Being alone in class studying or reading, everything about “being alone”.
After the praise, they will surely add on, “How did you do that!”
I always give a awkward laugh or smile and continue to do my things. In my mind, thoughts are in a mess. I will be thinking, “Is not like I want to be like this, I can’t find anyone to accompany me! They are either busy or already had a gang or group!” 
I always hope that they can leave me “alone”.
I don’t have a group to go with…
I go with random people…
I once had this nightmare already, I don’t want it again…
Being alone isn’t fun…it is sad…
Why people keep leaving me behind? Doshite?…

Dork?

I feel like I’m a computer dork these few days. I have been giving myself breaks before MCQ test really comes. I have been sitting in front my my white lappy reading articles to articles and tons of videos that I missed during study days. Kind of regret never study Geography well enough. (Oh wells). Tomorrow Imma going to eat laksa with mum at orchard. Prom coming soon!  I’m prepared to face my PMS!

I’m okay with everything now…

One more paper to go and I’m FREE!
Just read Gakuen Alice chapter 122 (Raw) a few moment ago. Sad that Mikan is going to leave Natsume (I’m a fan of him) and Natsume’s mum died of car accident( I think so), Mikan’s mum was so in grieve that she cut her long hair(yeah yeah).

Probably.

My instinct is telling me something good is going to happen to me, on the other hand, I fear this instinct. I am too numb to express myself further more. Brainsick is overtaking. Revolting exams. I’m totally confused.

Going onto the war;

Hence, my school life ending soon with doom.
Graduation day was sad, “Mediocre” had been swirling around my head for long, didn’t want to forget it.
Thursday will be the start of ‘O’ levels, next and the week after next will be pack with exams.
Getting on the mood to study, but it is too mundane. I became insensitive.
Stress is building up everyday as the exams comes nearer and nearer.
Fly away, fly away love…

Recent activities and the upcoming prom night and graduation.

1. What did the hell I do?
Yeah, memorizing whole lot of chemistry notes. Still cannot get the Relative Molecular and Relative Atomic Mass definition into my head. Have to be mentally prepared for the Science Practical.
On Monday, I have to pay the Prom night fees, or should I pay it on October 27th?
On Tuesday I am receiving the art topic, can’t wait, but it seems like a burden to me.
On Wednesday, I think there is nothing for me, except night classes.
On Thursday, Math ! Chiong !
On Friday, is my graduation day. What should we get for the form teacher?~

Take care !
- Eileen